I just want to feel good in my own skin...

How sad, I cannot remember the last time I have felt good in my own skin. Maybe childhood when I was filled with happiness,innocence and running free? Maybe after I finished one of those yo-yo diets and I felt good about myself?(comfortably seated in one-derland...)

With this in mind, I am more determined than ever to win the battle with the mirror, the scale, myself. I will love myself again. I will!

I have gone through my wardrobe and cannot find anything to wear in there for my school interview, so I have to go shopping for an outfit. Everything is too small or too old and worn looking. Perhaps this was a bad day to take these 'before pics' but here they come... (they are headless and the timestamp is wrong on my camera. I haven't showered and got dressed yet because its 5 a.m but at least I finally got them done)




[246.6 lbs]This was the dress I was considering wearing for my interview but find some sort of black jacket to formalize it (and some tall SPANX haha)

You might have noticed the hearts on my mirror. They have been there for a few monthes. I put them there as a reminder to try and love myself more everyday...





[246.6 lbs]This next set I chose because the shirt is one of those clingy varieties and it does not hide ANY chunk. Also you might notice that these pants don't even do up, so I was hoping to use them to better gauge how I am doing. ( Please ignore the panties, ha! I will understand if you run away..)There its all there for you to see..




[246.6 lbs] Okay, this set is rock bottom, and frankly the pants scare me, but at least they are buttoned.


Sorry for the exposure but its out of the way now, and we can pretend this viewing never happened? I will probably find every excuse to blog now and get these off the front page... so don't be suprised!!